Soon after I had returned to India, my entire family celebrated my coming of age by hosting a ceremony. I was blown away by the whirlwind of unknown customs.
One ritual that was brought to my attention was the idea of prostrating at my cousin’s feet, who is 9 years elder to me, to obtain his blessings.
In India, especially in my religion Hindhuism, there is a custom in which the youngsters show respect to elders by prostrating before the elders of the family. They kneel down and touch the feet of their elders as a sign of respect and to receive their blessing and good wishes. The elders bless by touching the head of the child.
When I was first told (before the ceremony) that I would have to kneel down in front of my cousin, Ajai, I was shocked. Being just a few years older than me and us being very close, my intial reaction to my grandmother’s instructions was “ You’re kidding! No way, am I falling at his feet! It’s demeaning!” But my mother, took me aside and told me that it was NOT an ungracious act according to Indian customs, that my cousin being older than me meant that he had all the right to give his blessings. That in there is a difference between Japan and India. Things are done differently here. I can still remember one of my aunts asking “Don’t you want Ajai’s blessings?” What could I say to that? Of course I did.
From this experience and many others, I have come to realize that cultural clashes can be dealt with by proper understanding of each other. An acceptance and tolerance of each one’s uniqueness. A person must be sensitive to other customs. Only with mutual respect can there be effective communication in intercultural situations. As Confucius once said "What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others"
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4 comments:
Hello Divya,
Thank you for sharing your experience. From your post, I have learnt one more thing about Indian culture. I remember, during lecture, one of our classmate had shared a similar story about a Korean kneeling and bowing to the Singaporean's parents to demonstrate his respect. The only difference is that you were the one asked to do do the cultural act.
If I were you in that situation, my reaction would be exactly the same. To me, falling at other person's feet is really degrading. I would never do that to anybody except God and Buddha (I am half Christian - half Buddhist). ^_^
However, you did it after all. But for me, I would have never done that even when I knew it's just a cultural act, which is not ungracious according Indian customs. Because I just can't. It's very degrading to me. Then how? That's when understanding and mutual respect come in. I would have shared with the entire family, especially the cousin, about the culture that I was brought up. And even though I don't do that, it does not mean that I don't have respect for them. By this, I want to make a point which is, efforts from all people involved are necessary to have an effective communication in cultural situations.
Have a nice day.
Kiet
Hi Divya,
The situation you have described have reiterated the need for knowledge and empathy in intercultural discourse.
Having little exposure to the numerous Hindu traditions, it would not be surprising to find such customs weird or even demeaning. But if you had prior knowledge and how all these tied together in your religion, it would serve to convince you that the custom is rightly justified and representative of your faith.
The act of kneeling in front of one's elders for blessings is largely accepted in most Asian cultures. Between western and oriental cultures, there is little to choose between respect and subservience. Such can thus result in the disgust and horror that you experience during the ceremony.
Cheers!
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